When was the last time you took a break?
Completed a thought?
Or took a deep breath?
For most of us, fall season means getting back to structure and routine. But if your life is like mine, that routine and structure comes with after school activities, weekend sports and commitments, random sick days, pumpkin patch runs… all the things!!! And somewhere in the midst of all of that, there is you…
Deciding whether to sit in silence or wash the dishes or do a load of laundry.
Finish your new book (i miss Princess Donut) or prep lunch for the next day.
Go to bed or catch up on reels.
Bury all of the thoughts and feelings of the day or take some time to write in a journal.
Journaling??
If I can be honest, when both of my therapists (yes, plural) recommended I journal I was lightly offended. I felt like I was being given a homework assignment. Just another thing to add to my long list of to-do's. With four kids (including a high school senior), a husband and a career— not to mention the random grief spells—- I don't need anything else on my plate.
After many internal fights about it, I finally gave in. I sat on my couch with my cup of coffee, opened up my notebook and wrote out 25 things I am grateful for. Every day. Sometimes, I wouldn't even write, I would just sit and look at my plants soaking in the sun. Sometimes it was for 15/20 mins. Sometimes it was for five mins. It didn't matter how long, I just decided I needed to clear my head and write.
The more I did it the more I realized that it wasn't just about writing. It was about taking time for me. Giving myself space to sit with myself with no distractions, no phone, no emails, no “mommy”, just me and quiet. The more I did it,I started to re-learn myself, my patterns, my habits…
For example, I hold my breath a lot…. I decrease my water intake when I'm super stressed and increase caffeine and sugar.
I'm sure we have all heard the saying, ‘your body keeps score’ and it wasn't until I started journaling that I started listening.
I realized that at least once a month I have the urge to pack up and move to a remote island with tacos and margs…. Then my period comes and I'm back to normal lol
That me not feeling like myself for the last five years was probably postpartum (because it lasts longer than 6 weeks— more on that later)
And that turning 40 and losing a parent in the same year has jumpstarted what I am just going to say is a mild life crisis.
Journaling has helped create a space that allows me to write out feelings I've been afraid to say outloud. Journaling helps clear my mind so I can remember to make the doctor appointments I keep forgetting. Or, that I need to drink more water or go for a walk or take a deep breath. Or that I need to remember that I am loved and strong. And that I don't have to feel guilty about caring for myself.
Self- care doesn't have to be complicated. But it is necessary.
One of the reasons OLLI +VYN is so important to me is because it allows women to be vulnerable and their true 100% authentic self. It tells women it's ok to be up one day and down the next. It's ok to say I need a break or I have forgotten who I am and I need a refresher course. Or, that you are lonely and feel as if no one understands you.
We have created three journals to help in those moments:
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Postpartum Journal → navigating identity, emotions, recovery and motherhood
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52-Week Affirmation Journal → intentional reflection and encouragement throughout the year
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Midlife Wellness Journal → understanding symptoms, cycles, wellness, medications and conversations with healthcare providers
I know first hand how the complexities of being a girl, woman, mother, wife, etc, etc can be beautiful and a bumpy road. Journaling may not be able to solve all of our problems. But it is our way of saying:
We see you. We hear you. We ARE you. We love you.
-OLLI +VYN